He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
