I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
