what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
