But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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