If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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