So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
