But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
