Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
