Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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