if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I think people are normalizing furries
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize