just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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