Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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