so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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