is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
