To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
