i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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