My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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