Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
