There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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