YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
