Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
