Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
