they need to just BURY HIM!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
