If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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