i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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