It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
