Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
