He disabled his match.com account in front of me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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