Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
