going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Randomize