marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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