I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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