i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
