it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The air taste purple.
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