My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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