just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
