Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
