They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize