I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
