Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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