Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
