making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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