We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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