i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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