I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
