He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
