I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
please come you make the beer taste better
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
