Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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