i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
