I wannas sexs uuuuu
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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