Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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