After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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