Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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