I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
