Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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