im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
