im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
