I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize