I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
