This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
