I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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