Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
