Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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