i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
