He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
