Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
