I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just high enough for therapy.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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