you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
