I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
