she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
