Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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