White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Can I color on your dick again?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
