Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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