I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
