i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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