Whats the glycemic index on semen?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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