Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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